Ryou's Note
by angel-demon child
Summary: Title may change at a later time. Ryou has had enough of living. Deciding to end his life, he starts to write a suicide note. Not sure what else to say. Please read and review.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: I may not update for a while, because I've got a lot of stuff going on right now. I know my writing isn't great, but please review. Thank you. Also this story is a little darker than what I thought it would be, but it fits my mood right now.**

**Chapter 1**

Ryou never felt as if he had much of a chance at life. From the beginning, his life was full of pain and suffering. As a child, he lost his mother and sister in a car wreck. For years the little boy was traumatized, but what hurt him the most was the man he called his father. For the last few years, his dad had been away, which was ok for Ryou. Everything was normal, until he met the spirit of the ring.

Bakura had never been a true friend to him, and that had made things even worse for the young British boy. Lately, things had gone from bad to worse. Time after time, Ryou had considered taking his own life, but he never had the courage to do so. Maybe the spirit was right, Ryou thought. Maybe I really am worthless.

IT wasn't the first time the thought had passed through Ryou's mind, but this time, he decided to do what he had been unable to do before. He sat down and thought for a second. "What did people usually do when they committed suicide?" he asked himself out loud. The answer came to him, he would write a note.

Finding a piece of paper, Ryou sat down to write. Gnawing on the end of his pencil, he thought long and hard about what to write.

_ My name was Ryou. I know what I'm…_

No, no, no, Ryou thought, that would never do. How do you put in words why you chose to commit one of the biggest sins by taking your own life? Maybe it would have been better to start at the beginning, but anytime he tried to write about his mother or his sister Amane, he had ended lying in the floor in tears. Maybe he should start with when he received the puzzle, but there was so much that he would be leaving out. Was just putting goodbye good enough, or did he really need to write out an explanation for his deeds.

It was at times like this that Ryou would love to cut himself, but even that could no longer stop the tears. There was a place to start, with the first time he allowed himself to draw a knife across his pale skin. He had watched in amazement as the blood flowed from such a tiny cut on his wrist.

This time, Ryou began to write again. _To whoever finds this note:_

_The process of takings one life does not begin overnight. For me it began with a thin cut across my skin. I had never meant to harm myself, but the knife felt so good in my hand. The problem was, sometimes even the physical pain doesn't outdo all the mental pain I feel in my heart. This time, I am going to do the world a favor and kill myself for real. Of course, I have been dead on the inside since the day that I lost my sister. Maybe if I explained, you would understand._


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Sorry that it took so long to update, but I've been busy lately. I've got an idea with what I would like to do with my story, but I'd appreciate any advice. This is a little difficult for me, but I hope you enjoy. Oh yeah, some of the characters might be a little OOC**

**Chapter 2**

_When I was five, Amane and my mother were killed in a car accident. I never truly got over that loss, and since then my dad's never been around. You know how when you're a kid, you can convince yourself that everything is your fault? Well, for a long time, I blamed myself for their deaths. I started seeing less and less of my father, and it caused me to be depressed a lot. I tried to hide it from my friends for a long time, but I realized that no one cared in the first place. After I moved to a new school, I thought things would be different, but people still made fun of my pale skin and white hair. So, I started to cut myself again. I had done that a few times, when I was younger up to the point that they placed me in a mental hospital for 'mentally disturbed 'kids I began to wear long sleeve shirts to hide the pain that no one seemed to notice. Finally, I decided that it was time to end everything. _

Ryou paused, to look at his writing. With a sigh, he picked up the knife by his side and cut into his pale, albino-like skin. He watched as red blood seeped through the cuts on my arm. Ryou winced from the pain, which he had never gotten used to. However, he continued to make small lines on his arm with the knife, first shallow, and then deeper, as if wanting to rid himself of whatever dreams haunted him. Then with a sigh, he picked up the pencil again, and resumed writing before his strength ran out.

_I think Bakura is the one that convinced me my life was worthless. I guess I am, compared to him. When I first met him, Bakura terrified me. Now that he has his own body, Bakura seems to enjoy making my life miserable. I was only useful when I was his landlord, but now that he has his own body, I am just another mortal to him, so what use does an ancient Egyptian spirit have with a mortal boy like me other than that of a host. Some people call me the Hikari, or the light. I guess compared to Bakura I am, but he truly has a reason to be bitter. The difference is that Bakura has found something he is good at, while I have nothing. I will end this now, because I'm starting to get light headed. So, to anyone reading this, goodbye._

Ryou sat down the paper and sighed. With his energy running out, he stumbled over to his dresser and picked up the last picture of his family taken before the accident. He hugged it to his chest, as if his life depended on it. With this, his legs gave out, causing him to collapse onto the hard floor. He whimpered to himself, and wished it all was over. He couldn't stand the pain in his chest, and it was getting harder to breath. As his mind went black, he swore that he could hear his sister's voice, the very same way it was when she died years ago.

"Ryou, you can't do this. You have to go back," the childish voice said, trapped in eternal youth.

"But Amane, I miss you and mom so much. It hurts, not being able to talk to you," He mumbled, trying to ignore the pain in his chest.

"I know, Ryou. It will be ok, though. I've read the letters you write to me here in Heaven. I'll be waiting for you, Ryou, but I don't want it to end like this. Go back," she told him gently, her voice fading into a whisper. Ryou reached up, not knowing that people where arriving in the real world.

He tried to plead with his sister. "Please, Amane, don't go," He was still repeating this when he felt himself being pulled back into reality. His head hurt terribly, but he was surprise to see Bakura standing right in front of him.

**A/N: Please read and review.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: I apologize for not updating in so long, but life has been hectic. I'm going to have a few new stories up soon hopefully, so start looking out for them. Please read and review. Let me know if you like where the story is going so far.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh.**

**Chapter 3**

Ryou looked up at the older teen standing in front of him. His vision was blurry, but for a minute Ryou was certain that he saw worry and fear in Bakura's eyes. He blinked, and bit back tears. Ryou never thought it would hurt this much.

"Ryou, what happened?" Bakura asked, looking down at the teen. He knelt down beside the boy, and looked at the marks running down his arms. They were obviously self-inflicted, but Bakura didn't want to think of it like that. Instead he turned and looked over his shoulder at the person who had arrived at the same time he had.

"Pharaoh, get help. We can't let him die," Bakura told him, his teeth clenched tight. If Ryou died, no he couldn't think like that. Ryou was going to live, he had to.

"Kura, it hurts," Ryou whispered, blinking back tears from his eyes. "It hurts and it's hard to breath and…" Every word the boy spoke came out in gasps, as if he was having hard time breathing. Did your blood affect how you breathe, Bakura wondered. He didn't know for sure, so he turned and saw that Yami was still standing there.

"Yami, does how much blood is in your body affect your breathing?"

Yami thought for a minute, before nodding his head. He turned and headed toward the kitchen. He had seen a phone there, and was planning on calling… wait who should he call. Quickly, he sent a mental message to Yugi.

"Yugi, Ryou's hurt badly. Who can I call?"

Within a matter of seconds, Yugi sent a reply back through the mind link. His voice was filled with worried. "Call 911. I'll meet you at the hospital."

Yami broke the connection and dialed 911.

"911, what is your emergency?"

"My friend, he's bleeding. It looks like he cut himself. It's really bad," Yugi told the woman. She took down the address and promised him that an ambulance was on the way. Yami walked over to the front door, and stood there, waiting for the ambulance to arrive. For a minute he wondered if it was safe to leave Ryou there with Bakura, but he decided it would have to do.

Meanwhile, Bakura sat down, gently Placing Ryou's head in his lap. He had left the boy's side long enough to get a few old towels out of the bathroom. Not knowing what else to do, he wrapped the towels around the boy's arm. He watched as the blood started soaking the towels, and for the first time in a while, Bakura was afraid. He kept stroking the boy's hair, telling him it would be all right. Bakura went over what he knew about Ryou, trying to figure out what would make him cut himself. Using the mind link, he allowed himself to roam through Ryou's thoughts. He sighed as he saw all the suffering the boy had went through. He wished he had been a little bit nicer to Ryou, but there was no way that he could take back what he had done to Ryou.

"Kura," Ryou mumbled, tears rolling down his face. "It hurts."

"I know," Bakura said, surprised to hear his voice so soft. He started to say something else when Yami appeared in the doorway, paramedics right behind him. The men placed Ryou on a stretcher and carried him to the ambulance. Bakura followed them out the door.

"I'm riding with him," Bakura told one of them.

The man in the white coat looked at him. "Are you related to him?" he asked.

"No, he has no family," Bakura admitted. "But please, let me ride with them."

The man nodded and Bakura climbed into the ambulance. He sat there, watching as the men worked to stop some of the bleeding. For a minute, he realized that he had said please, had begged the man to let him ride in the ambulance with him. What in the hell was happening to him?

As soon as they arrived at the hospital, Ryou was taken into a room. Since he wasn't allowed back there, Bakura paced back and forwards across the floor. He sent up a prayer to the gods, the first time he had prayed in a long time. He would do anything to make sure that Ryou was alright.

Bakura wasn't exactly the nicest person, but that didn't mean he was incapable of love. And after what he had seen, how did Ryou managed to be so happy. Like Bakura, he had lost his family, although the way that they died had been different. Bakura wanted so badly to hate the world, but found that for the first time in his life he was unable to do so. Instead, he just paced across the room.

"Here son." Bakura looked up to seen an older man holding out a cup of coffee toward him. Bakura took the cup without a word. He took a sip of the drink. It was bitter. "Just like me," Bakura murmured under his breath.

"What did you say," the man asked.

"Nothing," Bakura told him, looking into the cup. He sat down, and looked over to where Ryou's friends were sitting. He had watched then come in, but had done his best to avoid them, leaving Yami to answer all of their questions.

"Why don't you go sit with your friends?" the man asked him.

"I have no friends. Ryou and I share a house, but I have no friends. Never wanted any. If you love someone, they just hurt you."

The man looked at Bakura in a knowing way. He had seen others like him, people lost, and not knowing where to look. Bakura noticed the older man watching him and scowled. He thought of thousands of mean things he would have said if the timing was different, if Ryou wasn't dying, but all of them seemed empty. Instead, he slouched down in his seat, and stared out across the room.

"It's my fault. If I had been nicer, he wouldn't have done this. If I would have paid attention this wouldn't have happened."

"Son, this isn't your fault. If you feel so guilty about it then fix it. Be his friend now. You can't change the past, but instead learn from your mistakes. It is never too late to change your life around."

Bakura didn't answer. He was lost in thought. Trying with all his might, he tried to reach out to Ryou via the mind link. Even though he had his own body now, the mind link was still in place, allowing him to search out the boy. After a minute, he was able to make a connection. It was weak, but there. He could feel the tightness in Ryou's chest with every breath; feel the needles they had poked in him. But most of all he felt something else. He felt Ryou's heart flutter. It was just for a second, weak, and then it was gone, he could no longer feel his heartbeat. The connection went dead.

**So, what do you think? The question is will Ryou live or die? Review and let me know what you think should happen. Also, after I update the next chapter for this story, I will update Discovering Fanfiction. Thank you for reading.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: Sorry for not updating in forever. I've been so busy. Thank you to all my readers. Now, here is the question- does Ryou live or die?**

**Chapter 4**

Bakura jumped to his feet in a panic. An alarm went off through the hospital, loud and clear, but Bakura didn't notice it. The only thing he noticed was the emptiness, a void from where his mind link with Ryou was now broken.

Bakura didn't notice that he had ran down the hallway, toward Ryou's room. He didn't notice that Yami and the others had followed him. All he knew was that he had to get to Ryou. ryou couldn't die, he wouldn't let him.

"Sir, you can't come in here," one of the doctors told him. Bakura barely paid attention to the man in front of him. He shoved him to one side, before rushig into the room where Ryou'sbody laid, unmoving and surrounded by doctors and nurses. Bakura shoved his way through them, until he was standing by his hikari's bed.

If Ryou had looked behind him, he would have seen Yugi and the others standing at the door, but he didn't. All he saw was the small body laying on the bed in front of him.

"He can't die. In the name of Ra, he can't die," Bakura mumbled under his breath. He kept repeating it, even when a nurse grabbed his arm and led him away from the bed. He grew silent as the nurse led him over to the door, where all of Ryou's friends were waiting. Yami reached out an arm to support Bakura, but he was too late. The thief dropped to his knees, his eyes rolling back in his head. No one could suspect what it was that was playing out inside Bakura's head.

_Bakura found himself in a white room. The only furniture was a few chairs, and a desk at the front, that was unoccupied. A few people were in the room, but their faces were blurry, unimportant, with the exception of one._

_Ryou stood in front of Bakura, the scars where he had cut his wrist standing out against Ryou's pale skin, bright against the white that surrounded to room, that was the room._

_"What is this place?" Bakura asked outloud, looking around in confusion."Who are these people?"_

_"This is the waiting place between earth and wherever you go to after this," Ryou explained, a peaceful look on his face. Most of the pain he had seen earlier on the younger boy's face was gone, but a part of it still remained. Bakura was letting his mind wonder about this information when Ryou spoke up again._

_"You come here if it isn't your time to pass on, or if you need to dwell on events that had happened in your life. But, you can't stay," Ryou told him with a small, sad smile._

_"w-Why in the hell can't I?" Bakura asked, desperation in his voice._

_"Because."_

_"Why?!"_

_"Because you aren't dead." He offered on last smile in Bakura's general direction. "It's too late for me, only one thing can save me now."_

_"What?" Bakura asked, as the room started to fade away. He reached out toward Ryou, but he was gone. _

"Bakura, are you ok?" Yami asked, pulling Bakura to his feet in front of him. He shook his head, as if trying to realise what was happening in his surroundings.

"He... he can't die," Bakura said. "I... I can't lose him."

"Bakura, h-he's gone," Tea said gently, wiping away the few tears that were falling from her eyes.

"No... He can't die. He was the only one who understood me. No matter how many times I was mean to him, no matter what I did, he put up with me. After I used him so many times in the past, after everything that I did to him, he never once turned on me, never once kicked me out. He... I... I loved him."

Everyone in the hall looked at Bakura in shocked. Never before had they seen Bakura so vunerable. The thief who had endured so much as a younger child, who had watched his village be distroyed, who had made a deal with Zorc, had completely lost it.

beep...beep...beep...beep..beep...beep

Everyone looked up in surprise as the heart monitor slowly started to beat once again, faintly, weakly. Nurses and doctors looked on in shock. Bakura pulled away from the others and rushed back into the room. He ignored the others in the room, he had only one purpose, to apoligize to Ryou for everything that he had done wrong. However, he never got the chance.

beep...beep...beep...beep...beep...beep...beep...b eep...

Once again, the heart moniter slowed before stopping completly. Nurses and doctors rushed around, but to no avail, nothing could be done to restart the boys heart. the few seconds of life had given Bakura and the others a sense of hope, but it was crushed as soon as a few nurses pulled the sheets up and over Ryou's pale body. Bakura stood just a couple of feet from the bed, staring in shock. Then he turned and ran out of the hospital room, not wanting anyone to see the tears that flowed from his eyes. It was his fault, his fault that Ryou had died. And there was only one way to make up for something like that.

**This story is coming close to an end. As much as I will hate for it to end, there is only a few more chapters before this one comes to an end. Sorry for those of you who wanted Ryou to live. Please read and review.**


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